When you're lying on your back in a pool of sweat, looking up at the crotch of a man you've just met as you grip his ankles, local precipitation being a real risk, the last thing you want to be told is to inhale. But you do, because you need to breathe – deeply – because you're knackered and about to be hoisted into an "assisted wheel" by your yoga instructor, a heavyweight bodybuilder and American footballer whose nickname is "Miller the Pillar".
Matt Miller is the very large man behind Broga UK, a new network of classes infiltrating gyms to cater for a growing national demand for yoga that appeals to, well, bros (aka dudes, aka men). His target audience is me, a physically active man who understands very well the benefits of the downward dog but would sooner cultivate his horribly stiff hamstrings than walk into a room full of girls spouting mystical Sanskrit (om, no thanks).
My only previous brush with yoga came in a beachside gazebo in Brazil, in a class during a surfing holiday. As my terribly earnest instructor struggled with English while I sat with crossed legs – "feel the energy from the Earth. Feeeeel it come through the floor and touch your c***s [he meant coccyx] and travel up your colon [column, spinal]" – it took all my energy and focus not to break the awkward silence with a fit of giggles. I did not go back.