10-minute relationship therapy: if you want to improve relations with somebody, treat them with kindness and respect.
We all want love and respect but sometimes we don't want to give love and respect, especially when we are at odds with someone and we're feeling hurt and angry.
If you want a better relationship with anyone "Stroking" is mandatory. If you look down on people and treat them badly, they'll retaliate and appear just as annoying and hostile as you expected. If, in contrast, you treat people with kindness and respect in spite of your anger, they'll nearly always be far more flexible and responsive to your feelings and point of view. Some people are resistant to this technique. " I shouldn't have to be nice to him. He doesn't deserve it." is a common opinon. Others are "I'm just too angry to be nice to her", "I can't think of anything positive to say about him", and " Why should I be nice to her when she's treated me like this". But if you decide to convey genuine respect in the heat of battle, your efforst will be far more effective.